Cover photo

PREMIUM — Jack Dorsey on Web 5: “Never Mind”

Jack Dorsey, renowned tech entrepreneur and former CEO of X (Twitter), has officially called it quits on his much-hyped project, "Web5." The enigmatic venture had been shrouded in secrecy, sparking curiosity and speculation within the tech community.

#premium#article#news#satire#crypto#web3#comedy
Cover photo

Dairy Queen Doing NFT Thing in China Despite Bans on Dairy, Queens

Dairy Queen, America’s beloved source for ice cream and triple bypasses, announced Thursday a new NFT project in Chengdu, China. The NFTs feature digital art of their products, such as the iconic Blizzard, and embedded code that uses your social media accounts to denounce the Communist Party...

#article#news#web3#crypto#satire#comedy
Cover photo

Your House Was Just Sold on Upland, Get Out

Today you just learned about Upland, a DeFi marketplace that sells digital versions of real-world properties. You also learned that your house was sold on Upland and the new owner showed up today instructing you to...

#article#satire#comedy#web3#crypto#news
Cover photo

Yield Farmers Start Learning About Bonds

As the dust settles after the frenzy of the cryptocurrency bull market, a significant shift is occurring in the mindset of crypto investors. Many who were previously lured by the promise of quick riches through high-yield DeFi projects are now turning their attention to...

#article#satire#comedy#web3#crypto#news
Cover photo

PREMIUM — Dracula Bets Big on Staking as a Service

Just in time for Halloween, the legendary vampire Count Dracula has ventured into the world of cryptocurrency by launching his own crypto-staking service, ImmortaliFi.

#article#web3#crypto#satire#news#premium
Cover photo

Grandma Offers You $1 to Fix Her Broken Bitcoin

Fortune smiled upon you today when your grandmother made you an offer you couldn’t refuse. She offered a whole U.S. dollar, in paper form, for you to ...

Cover photo

NEWSLETTER — North Korea Adopts Stolen Bitcoin as Legal Tender

Dearest Operating Systems, There's a twinge of fall in the air, and a looming sense that the bear market just may be over. The Rug is proud to keep shipping through the peaks and troughs of the existential experience known as crypto-life. This issue is jam-packed with goodies, for example...

#newsletter#web3#crypto#satire#comedy#news
Cover photo

Michael Saylor Makes Token Bid on Federal Reserve For 1 Bitcoin

TYSONS CORNER — Tech mogul Michael Saylor wants to buy The Federal Reserve. Inside sources say Jerome Powell met with Saylor at his offices in Virgini...

#article#web3#crypto#news#comedy#satire
Cover photo

Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift Team Up to Launch "Temporary" Shitcoin

Kansas City Chiefs' star Tight End, Travis Kelce, and global superstar Taylor Swift are taking their relationship to the next level. Their newly launched...

#article#web3#crypto#news#satire
Cover photo

PREMIUM — SEC Cracks Down on USD

WASHINGTON — SEC Gary Gensler is cracking down on the US Dollar. Gensler stated in a recent press conference that the “so-called USD” is a danger to...

#premium#article#web3#crypto#news#satire